Promises

5 Aug

I’m not sure why something so simple triggered such an intense response, but thanks to Sean, I’ve take a step back and a hard look at myself. I consider myself to be a very self-aware person. I understand that I have a strong need for achievement and high expectations for myself. This causes my to live in a constant state of stress and high-tension. I feel compelled to do everything at my very best level – whether I’m doing something for myself or anyone I around me. This is not praise because what it causes is a lot of pain for those closest to me.

I’ve always thought I handled stress well. Now I’m realizing that maybe I just need to simple be less stressed all together. Do less. Relax more. I’m not exactly sure what that’s going to take but one thing I know is that my mindset needs to change. Hanging out with people I love or doing something just for me is positive, NOT lazy. When I look back later in life I’ll remember who I spent time with and what we did together, not how I did on that exam or how many I hours I worked that one week.

At the same time, I WANT to do well in class. I will regret not putting my best effort forward.I think that might mean scaling back at work – not taking clients when it’s not in my blocked time frame. I must remember that this is NOT SELFISH; t’s healthy. I can’t compare myself to others and no one can judge me for doing what’s best for me and my relationships. I just need sit down and think about what I WANT to do next semester and let go of the things that don’t matter. It will be hard to let things go, but it’s really necessary for my quality of life.

I need to practice relaxation and privatization now because I imagine my stress levels will only increase when I start working full time.

Some ideas of what I can do for myself to wind down and relax:

  • Yoga
  • Read for fun
  • Go to church and Pray
  • Bake/Cook
  • Write

In the meantime, I just have to pause once in a while and reflect on “how much it matters”. (whatever “it” may be). Will I care in 1 week? 1 year? 10 years?

I also think that being more PRESENT will help. I’m always doing a million things at once and don’t pay 100% attention to most things or people.

So this is my promise to give myself a break.

-Jul

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One Response to “Promises”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I’m Quitting « Jul Sweats 'n Dreams - October 3, 2010

    […] of my promises to myself this semester was to do only the things that bring me happiness or better the lives of others […]

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