Tag Archives: life thoughts

It’s been crazy!

2 Feb

I had sort of a bad week last night… not sure what it was but I was cranky, tired, and late for everything! Ugh. It was really frustrating but it ended on a great note- Friday we had our first intramural soccer game which was a BLAST! I got to play the whole game and I left a sweaty, happy mess even though we lost!

Saturday afternoon was really the turning point. I went to yoga with Carly! We walked there in the “nice” weather and then had a great $5 Vinyasa class! I loved the teacher (Caitlyn) and can’t wait to go back for more 🙂 We took our time going home and stopped at City Sports, Borders, Anthropologie, and finally Trader Joe’s. I got my grocery shopping done and Carly finished her errands! I left yoga with such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I was feeling so bad about my week and guilty for being mean to Sean. It was such a relief to just let.it.go.

We went out on Saturday night! I know, it shouldn’t be such a big deal but it really was. It was like breaking the seal! When you’re at home in the warmth, it’s just so hard to leave and go out into the cold, to a place that seems so far. We went to The Greatest Bar near TD Bank North via cab. It was so quick and cheap (the cab)! The place was huge and Sean, Olga, Matt, and I had fun!

The rest of the weekend was spent catching up on work!

I went to an event featuring Alicia Silverstone. It was pretty much her pushing veganism, but nonetheless, it was fun to hear her voice! She sounded EXACTLY like her role in Clueless, it was pretty funny 🙂

Lastly, a topic I’ve been wanting to address for a while – friends and family finding this!

I started this blog not necesarily because I wanted people to read it. Obviously, I’m perfectly fine with this content being public because I created a blog- not a personal desktop based journal!

So, this is a message for my friends, especially Olga and Rachel who are most likely to find this first- I’m totally fine with you reading this blog so let me know if you find it! I might even tell people when I move to Dallas but until then, please don’t think I’m intentionally hiding this from you. I’m just still a little uncomfortable with the idea of an entire website dedicated to my thoughts and feelings 🙂

Ok- on that note, I must go!!

Be back soon if the craziness of school allows!

-Jul

Advertisements

Guilt

8 Jan

For 3+ years now I’ve been harboring this guilt. I moderate my time at home with Sean so that I spend as much time at home and with my family was possible. Countless (probably thousands) of times I’ve told him that I shouldn’t hang out, or come over, or go to some party because I felt I should be at home when I’m home from college. I rationed that I spent time with him at school so I shouldn’t in NJ. Last night, my Mom questioned why I was home when I was supposed to be over at Sean’s watching a movie. I finally revealed my guilt. Now, I find it overwhelmingly awful that I’ve been doing that to myself for year! I told Sean this morning and he was not surprised. It’s what he’s been telling my for years now. UGH! He also mentioned another truth which is that I also used that guilt to get me out of some social situations that I was uncomfortable attending. Uncomfortable because I’m not an overall social person, not because they were bad situations. Wow.

It’s all true, of course. I spend most of my time doing what I think will make others happy and not looking out for my own best interests. I think in 2011 that needs to be a priority. I need to stop being a martyr and start communicating to other what I need and want. No one is going to thank me for the things I do and I don’t expect them too. Making myself happy first is the most important thing. It’s hard to even believe that after a lifetime of looking out for everyone else. I better start believing though or else the rest of my life will be filled with anger and resentment.

Heavy stuff for a Saturday morning, huh?

On the workout front, I attempted the ambitious feat of mixing in 5 miles of intervals (incl. warm-up and cool-down) into my P90x Chest & Back workout (with ab ripper). I definitely didn’t succeed but I did my best. I completed 3 miles in 28:37 and 1 complete round of Chest/Back, plus about 1/2 of the ab ripper workout… about 50% overall. I would be disappointed but I was just feeling hungry, a little shaky, and tired this morning.

To be SUPER cheesy and Tony Horton-like, “I did my best, now forget the rest.” *groan* 😉

I’m off to get some more coffee and window shop a little… doing 2 things that make me happy this morning.

thanks for listening,

Jul